Suspiria (2018)

 It's rare, in my estimation, for a remake to be of similar quality to the original, typically the two film versions of 'True Grit' are my platonic reference point for this phenomna, but I must say that the remak of 'Suspiria' comes pretty close to that rarified company.

I think I'll always like the 1977 original a little more, because of how it looks, because of the originally, because it was my introduction to Dario Argento and because of Jessica Harper. The 2018 'Suspiria' is so different from its predecessor that "remake" isn't really the best word for it, "re-imagining" better captures the gist.

The 2018 'Suspiria' is the directorial debut of American screenwriter David Kajganich, I've not seen anything else he's done but it appears he works mostly in horror. The skeleton of the original film is kept, at least towards the beginning, but the lead girl (this time played by Dakota Johnson, who I think looks surprising good as a redhead) has her previously scant backstory changed and expanded; a minor psychologist character is substantially reworked and given a much bigger part, some supporting characters from the first film are dropped but the mid 70's West Berlin setting is kept and some real period historical events are woven in as counterpoint. While not as rich and exaggerated as in the first film, the visuals here are still distinctive and strong. The cast is also full of rather stronger actors then the original.

I hesitate to say much about the plot, at least as it varies from the original. Again, a new girl has come to the prestigious old dance academy, she finds odd goings one and we follow her reactions, but so much is different. These differences fascinate me, particularly a change in one of the characters that makes me want to rewatch the film, with an eye to spoting when exactly that character makes a very important decision.

I found this 'Suspiria' to be gripping and weird and unexpected, scary in a way even more cerebral then it's predisascor. One of the three or so most artistically impressive horror films I've seen in the last 10 years. ****

Totally Killer (2023)

 'Totally Killer' is basically 'Halloween' meets 'Back to the Future'. In October of 1987, three of Pam Miller's (Olivia Holt) best friends are killed by the "Sweet Sixteen Killer", whose MO is stabbing 16 year old girls 16 times. As a result of this traumatic youth full experience, 36 years later Pam Hughes (now played by Julie Bowen) is a more then normally protective mother to her 16 year old daughter Jamie (Kiernan Shipka). Jamie has grown dismissive of her mother's seeming paranoia, but then the Sweet Sixteen Killer reemerges and kills Pam!

Helpfully Jamie's best friend Amelia (Kelcey Mawema) has been trying to complete the time machine her mother started working on in the 80's, so you can see where this is going. In course of story Jamie finds herself stranded back in 1987, where she enlists her best friends future mother (Kimberly Huie) to fix the photoboth time machine, while she works to stop the Sweet Sixteen Killer and save her mother and her friends.

I enjoyed this, it's an interesting blend, derivative sure, but fun and mixes things up just enough to occasionally surprise and deliver a workable sense of tension. Woke Gen Z teen encountering the non PC, 80's world of her Gen X parents proves a good source of humor, be it the horrors of a racist school mascot, problamatic non consensual touch, and my favorite bit, no one bothering to check her fake cover story; she just shows up at the school claiming to be a Canadian exchange student and the receptionist hands her a class schedule. 

Again I liked it, knowing the story now I will probably watch it again soon to see if 1987 Sheriff Randall Park is right, that time travel movies (though fun) never make sense. ***

Two Evil Eyes (1991)

Picked a horror something out of my Prime que, proved to be one of those serendipity things, dovetailing nicely with Netflix's recent 'Fall of the House of Usher' limited series, is 1991's 'Two Evil Eyes', an anthology film based on works by Edgar Allen Poe.

In segment one George Romero adapts and directs 'The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar". Trophy wife Adrienne Barbeau and her doctor lover Remy Zada, try to cover up the death of her elderly rich husband for a couple of weeks so some checks can clear; this is complicated by Valdemar's (Bingo O'Malley) continuing to talk after his death. Pretty standard much of the way, but the creepy supernatural pay off worked for me. How on Earth is Detective Robert Atkins going to write that up in his report?

Segment two 'The Black Cat', directed and co-adapted by Dario Argento (I'd wanted to work something of his in this October). Photographer (of rather gruesome crime scenes) Harvey Keitel's music teacher girlfriend's (Madaline Porter, she's intriguing but dosen't have much of a filmography) cat murderously does not like him and the feelings mutual. This one goes rather WTF about 20 minutes in, does a real good job with the tension.

Both segments are set in Pittsburgh. I thought Romero's segment was all right, but I really liked Argento's. So segment 1 gets **1/2 and segment 2 gets ***1/2. Collectively I give this ***

Dumb Money (2023)

'Dumb Money' is based on the true story of that surge in GameStop stock a few years back, where the sickly company went from trading at a low $2.57 a share in April of 2020, to a high of $483 a share on January 28th, 2021. The particulars of how and why this happened are not entirely understood, but what seems to have set it off is the online opinions of a small time Massachusetts financial analyst named Keith Gill. Gill went all out bullish on the stock, buying $53,000 in shares and inspiring others not just to buy in, but to hold. Ultimately this unanticipated surge in the value of a supposed joke of a stock, put tremendous pressure on hedge funds that had banked on GameStop failing, the ripple effects of this cost and made fortunes and changed investing practices on Wall Street.

A sort of cousin to 'The Big Short' this is a triumph of the little guy, feel good film with a good sense of humor. Paul Dano plays Keith Gill, Shailene Woodly his wife and Pete Davidson his underachieving, comic relief brother. Nick Offerman, Seth Rogan and Vincent D'Onofrio are wall street guys, America Ferrera, Anthony Ramos and Talia Ryder play some of the real life small time investors who helped pushed the stock up and reaped the benefits. Set against the backdrop of the pandemic, it's interesting to see masks and the recent past on screen. The Wall Street guys in this are mostly white, as they tend to be, but the small investors are a racially and sexualy diverse cross set; the thing is its not "woke", it's what really happened. A solid little movie of a refreshingly different story. ***

Valley Girl (1983)

 'Valley Girl' is a star crossed romance between a suburban valley girl (Deborah Foreman) and a Hollywood punk enthusiast (Nicolas Cage). Iconically 80's film is remembered for its soundtrack and snippets of slang, a time capsule that's almost worth the watch just for its period shots of the Sunset Stip and Hollywood Blvd. What makes the movie work as a ground level viewing experience however is its so well cast.

Cage is good of course, but how come Foreman didn't have more of a career? Each of Deborah's three besties has at least a little bit of a story, with Elizabeth Daily being the stand out. I rather liked Deborah's hippie turned health food store proprietor parents; they're good, loving parents, they know their daughter well enough to trust her decisions, they're chill where genra convention would call for kill joys. I also enjoyed how they chose to get high to deal with the existential angst of their daughter going to junior prom. Cameron Dye was a great, has your back friend for Cage, even when Nic was being difficult. I liked these characters. Even Deborah's old boyfriend Micheal Bowen wasn't so much of a jerk that you couldn't see his appeal. The movie works, where it could as easily not have, had it been given less care. ***

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

'I Know Who Killed Me' is an apparent attempt to make a Giallo, David Lynch and Lifetime movie all at the same time. This weird assemblage of parts is under the direction of Chris Silverton, whose been more then 20 years in the industry but hasn't made a single other film I've seen or even heard of, this project was beyound his abilities.

A notorious flop which took in less then half what it cost to make and has a rather pathetic 9% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It is arguably the film that killed Lindsay Lohan's career. In an attempt to break from her Disney past Lohan plays a stripper, and also a high school student abducted by a serial killer, though these maybe the same person experiencing a psychotic break.

A fascinatingly inept piece of film making, it plays almost like the story was made up on the fly. It's strangeness, It's pure "off" quality retained my interest, at a certain point reaching a manic crescendo that was almost delightful. Ultimately what we get is a dark re-imagining of 'The Parent Trap' by way of 'Silence of the Lambs'. This movie was awful, but I plan on seeing it again. *1/2

The Vampire Lovers (1970)

In 'The Vampire Lovers' sexy lady vampires frolick and feed in 18th century Austria. Based on the 1872 novella 'Carmella' by Sheridan Le Fanu, which delt with vampires 26 years before Bram Stokers 'Dracula', it is also the first entry in Hammer's 'Karnstein Trilogy', followed by 'Lust for a Vampire' and 'Twins of Evil'. The film is shockingly erotic, best remembered for its lesbian romance between Ingrid Pitt and Maddy Smith. Aside from the lovely ladies and any scene with Renton the butler (Harvey Hall)  it's pretty dull, but it doesn't really need much else.  ***

Knock on the Cabin (2023)

SPOILER-ISH

A gay couple and their daughter are held captive at a Pennsylvania vacation cabin by a diverse group of vigilantes, who insist that one of the three must die to prevent the apocalypse. A pared back psychological horror by M. Night Shaymalan, complete with so many of the tropes he's established over the years. We have stilted, unanutal dialogue, an interguing enough premise stumblingly executed, odd characterizations, people watching 9/11 type world changing events on screen, a confused sense of messaging with vaugly religious overtones, a sprinkling of flashbacks to do  heavy lifting, a director cameo, and the signature "twist".

While Shaymalan movies became known for their twists early on, I think the director has become less interested in these over the years. This my represent one of the few ways in which M. Night can be said to have grown as a director over the years, or it may be yet another example of how he has gotten lazier. So basically there are two ways to go with the vigilantes mission, either they are correct and there is an apocalypse waiting in queue, or they are off their rockers. The latter option would represent a real risk and departure from Shaymalan's earlier work, so guess which way he went? 

This is an awkward movie, silly at its core, it is so predictably Shaymalan that it's hard to believe it is based on a novel. There is one reflective moment near the end that I thought kind of worked, and their are a few lines which indicate that what happens in the cabin represents a once in a generation test of the human spirit, something acted out on a small scale throughout human history to prove if our species is worthy; now that is intriguing. On the whole however, it's just not very good, it failed to elicit the stong emotional sense, from both actors and myself, which the thing needed. For a would be auture with such a promising start, it floors me that N. Night Shaymalan is a noticeably worse film maker now, then he was twenty years ago. His film made me mildly mad. Also the special effects were embarsing. *

Freddy's Dead the Final Nightmare (1991)

 Number 6. This one is pretty damn bad, worst yet. Set 10 years in the future, so 2001. Springwood is finally given a definitive location, the state of Ohio. Freddy got lose again and has killed EVERY SINGLE CHILD in Springwood, save one who got away and who he's now after. 

We get more Freddy backstory, turns out he has a biological child who was taken away from him, which prompted the string of child murders which ultimately got him killed. We also learn that three ancient demons are responsible for Freddy's repeated returns, take away the demons protection, make him mortal again, and you can finally kill him for good, maybe.

I kind of liked the video game sequence, and Yaphet Kotto is in this as a sort of dream therapist, I usually like Kotto but there is little to his part here; there is little to anything here. Random, cheap feeling, the 2nd in the series to have no returning characters beside Freddy. There are also a number of odd celebrity cameos, presumably because this was to be the last one, including Johnny Depp and Tom and Rosanne Arnold.

While not the last Freddy Krueger movie, this can be said to be the end of the franchise proper. While Robert Englund would return to the role for two more films, they would be a proto Scream meta movie (Wes Craven's New Nightmare) and a cross over with another 80's horror icon (Freddy vs. Jason). I think this will also be the end of these movies for me this year. I give the "final" entry *

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

Having killed all the Elm Street children, Krueger's path to further victims was through the dreams of the blessed and cursed Alice Johnson (Lisa Wilcox). Since Alice became a true 'Dream Warrior' Freddy's path was blocked. However, Freddy found a way through via the dreams of Alice and Dan's (Danny Hassel) unborn baby, the 'Dream Child' or 'Dream Fetus'. Yeah this one's pretty bad, though I kind of admire the writers persistence in keeping everything connected through a seemingly improvised form of quasi-logic. There are some reasonably creative set pieces and they bring Krueger's mother back, but at this point the series is running largley on cheese and momentum. *1/2

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

They never come out and say it, but it's implied that Freddy's grave is disturbed and that is what allows him to come back in part 4. He makes quick work of 2 of the 3 surviving Elm Street kids from the last movie, then he takes out Kristen, a role originated by Patricia Arquette, but here taken over by Teusday Knight. So Freddy wins, he does what he set out to do and has successfully killed all of the Elm Street children.

However, while dying Kristen reached out to her friend Alice Johnson (Lisa Wilcox) and bequeathed her 'Dream Master' powers. This is a mixed blessing, as whenever a friend makes a cameo appearance in one of Alice's dreams, Freddy cam now enter that persons dreams and kill them. So more teenagers die, but ultimately Alice is able to defeat Freddy, by completing the words of a nursery rhyme, thus freeing from Hell the souls (of all?) of Freddy's victims over the years. 

As is often the case with these movies this is better then I thought it would be. One of the things that most sets this series above and apart from much of its period competitors in the teen slasher genra, is that victims tend to be more memorable. Freddy kills kids in very personalized ways, in dreams that incorporate interests or quarks of his victims, so all these things have to set up in the story beforehand, so that they make sense and we feel invested. The 'Friday the 13th' victims all tend to blend together, on 'Elm Street' each victim gets their due, so part 4 gets **1/2

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

 It's part 3 and Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) is back, an experimental dream inhibiting medication has allowed her to live her life, she is now interning at a hospital psych ward housing the last of the "Elm Street children".  After something of a tangent in part 2 Freddy is back on message, seeking to murder all the children of the men and women who went outside the law to kill the child murder all those years ago. 

Kristen Parker (Patrica Arquette) is in the psych ward, she is one of Freddy's targets, only she has a special ability going back to childhood, which enables her to pull other people into her dreams. Nancy and Kristen hope to assemble the surviving kids into a group of 'Dream Warriors' (in execution this is not quite as silly as it sounds) to take on Kruger. They are assisted on the outside by Nancy's policeman father (the great John Saxon), a mysterious nun (Nan Martin) and 'Not Bill Maher' aka Dr. Neil Gordon (Craig Wesson), who despite having a romantic thing going with Nancy which feels inappropriate given their age difference and the power imbalance as he's kind of her boss, we still like anyway.

We get an origin story on Freddy and learn that the way to finally vanquish him is to bury his remains in hallowed ground. This is a pretty satisfying movie, a natural end point to a surprisingly decent trilogy. Yet the profits are good so the studio is going to insist on running this thing into the ground, making another 5 of these before finally rebooting the franchise. So 'Nightmare's' nightmare awaits me as I keep working through these films, though I give number 3 a respetacle **1/2.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revange (1985)

 'Nightmare on Elm Street 2' picks up five years after the events of the first film. A new family has moved into Nancy's old house (Nancy herself is said to have been institutionalized). Freddy's spirit has been quitley haunting the place, but with new residents he picks the inhabitant of Nancy's former room as his special project. Freddy's plan is to get into the body of teenaged Jesse Walsh (Mark Patton), through his dreams and use him to commit murders in the physical world.

As Jesse becomes increasingly aware of what is happening to him, he enlists the aid of frienemie (and character I love and will defend) Ron Graddy (Robert Rusler) and love interest Lisa Webber (Kim Myers), who I also love and will defend; in fact, overall the characters in this film are much more interesting and developed then those in the first. The plot is more engaging, the look of the thing better, it's funner, and in everyway this is the suppior film, save the original has the better scary moments.

I really enjoyed this, it's the rare horror sequel that improves on the original, it's not lazily copy cating, rather it's expanding and further developing on ideas from the original movie and going it's own way with them. There is also a gay subtext which becomes more interesting when you learn that lead actor Mark Patton was himself closeted at the time. Lastly, while the kids largely disapproved, I fully support Lisa's dad's decision to play his Benny Goodman records at the pool party. ***

It (1927)

 Clara Bow earned her nick name "The It Girl" from her role in this titular 1927 silent, in which she plays a lowly shop girl who sets her sights on the heir to a department store chain and gets him. Bow's sex appeal and charm are on full display, she's a little fire cracker who pretends to be a single mother so that her unemployed roommate can keep her child out of the hands of busy body welfare agents, this of course provides the chief relationship complication for the film. A little daring, rather pre-code, though ultimately there is very little to the story; while supporting player William Austin is kind of funny, the film wouldn't have worked if Bow didn't have "It". Popular novelist Elinor Glyn, who wrote the source material, appears as her self. ***

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

 SPOILERS

There is a scene in 'The Exorcist Believer', where Leslie Odom Jr's demonically possessd daughter Lydia Jewett, taunts him about a particularly difficult past personal trauma with the phrase "God played a trick on you." Well I feel like the makers of this film played a trick on me.

I went into this movie with low expectations, based both on its 22% Rotten Tomatoes score and the record of past Exorcist sequels. I went to see it because I'm an Exorcist completist, not because I thought it would be any good. To my surprise however, for much of the running time I was impressed by just how decent it seemed. On reflection I believe that I had fallen victim to what I'll call 'The Force Awakens Effect'.

'The Force Awakens Effect' is when a movie does a competent enough job riffing on the general outline of a film your already fond of, that it creates the false impression that the movie is better then it really is. With 1973's The Exorcist doing most of the stories heavy lifting, The Exorcist: Believer is watchable, it even seems to be working, it is when the film goes off that safe script that it really falls apart.

Ellen Burstyn returns to the role of Chris MacNeil, in the half century since the events of the first film she has become a self educated expert on demonic possession, writting a best selling book on her daughters experiences, a book which lead to their estrangement. Odom approaches her for help with the duel possession of his daughter and her friend Olivia O'Neill. While Chris's non academic experience with exorcism was second hand, fifty years ago, and resulted in the deaths of two experienced Catholic priests, the 90 year old woman determins she can probably take a stab at it. It doesn't end well.

Eventually a decision is made to attempt a very eucomenucal exorcism with practitioners of various faiths, this has a very contemporary vibe to it, though it undercuts a big part of what made the original Exorcist so scary, that the only way to fight the demon was through use of  old esoteric practices, that the old esoteric Catholic Church now found too old and esoteric. Now I'm not saying that this 'all religions hold truth' approach to a battle of good and evil couldn't work, something along this line was done and worked in The Devil Rides out movie in 1968 and its decades older source material. However it doesn't work here, it feels silly, self conscious and lame.

Now I didn't hate 'The Exorcist: Believer', it's about 1/3 bad and 2/3rds okay, but it's more like an off brand knocked off then a legitimate heir to the greatest horror movie of all time; though there are certainly worse Exorcist sequels. If you bother to see it make sure you approach it as what it really is, don't let the filmmakers play a trick on you. **

The Black Phone (2022)

 It's 1978 and middle school aged children are disapering from a suburb north of Denver, victims of a fiend locals have dubbed 'The Graber'. 'The Graber' is Ethan Hawk and his latest abductee is 13 year old Finny (Mason Thames). Extra sensory ability runs in Finny's family, his younger sister Gwen (Madeline McGraw) has prophetic dreams, much to their fathers chagrin as their late mother also had such visions and they drove her mad. For Finny the supernatural manifests when he starts getting calls from 'The Graber's' previous victims on a disconnected black phone on the wall of his basement prison, and those spirits want to help him escape.

The film suffers some from the recent glut of period piece YA horror, 'It', 'Fear Street', even 'Stranger Things', however it's pretty strong. Based on a short story by Stephen King's son Joe Hill, the movie is very well structured, acted, gets the period setting down and doesn't over explain things, I was impressed. 'The Black Phone' did extremely well, over $160 million off a roughly $17 million budget, critically it's an 82% on Rotten Tomatoes. I went into this with some reluctance, but I enjoyed and am glad I saw it. ***

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

 Sequel, obviously, to 1982's 'The Slumber Party Massacre', 'Slumber Party Massacre II' picks up 5 years later. Courtney, the younger sister from the first film, is a senior in high school and now played by Crystal Bernard. Her and her mother are mostly okay, but older sister Valerie never recovered and is now in a mental institution. 

Courtney and three friends are in an all girl rock band, they go to spend a weekend practicing at one of their fathers new home at a golf resort in the desert; unchaperoned, it's not long before boys arrive, however it is long before the killings start. Teasing, slow and horney. Courtney has bad dreams and hallucinations, premonitions of a leather jacketed rocker coming to get her, visions of Valerie trying to worn her.

Such a different take, I appreciate the try but the film is tentative and non commetal, frustratingly so. The first killing is around 52 into a 75 minute movie. While the original wanted to be 'Halloween', this one wants to be 'Nightmare on Elm Street', tonely and logically at odds with its predecessor. A bit of a mess, didn't care for it. *

Marihuana (1936)

High school student Hugh McArthur (31 years old when this was made) can barely get his girlfriend Harley Wood (23 years old) to let him feel her up before she tries marihuana, afterwards he scores. Of course she ends up pregnant and he ends up killed by police while smuggling drugs off a boat, because this is a Dwaine Esper exploitation movie; a film that presents itself as imparting a moral message, but is really just an exercise in offering 1930's audiences an excuse to watch sleaze.

Not as well known as the true classic of 1930's "anti drug" movies 'Reefer Madness' (seemingly the only one of these which Esper did not direct), the sense of reaching beyond its directors abilities is palpable, from the "parking scene" set to classical music, to bad guy Tony trying to connect with the little girl he's kidnapped. Nutty stuff happens. While Harley does become something of a monster over the course of the film, I think the megalomania is more the heroine talking then the weed, the latter of which makes her an extremely accommodating party guest. Speaking of which, midnight skinny dipping on weed is apparently a recipe for getting one of your supporting characters drowned. **

A Home at the End of the World (2004)

 Coming off the success of 'The Hours', Micheal Cunningham adapted his own novel 'A Home at the End of the World' and there is alot of plot here for a 97 minute movie.

In 1967, at the age of nine, Bobby Morrow witness the death of his older brother, to whom he was very close. The teenager was high on drugs at a party and ran through a sliding glass door thinking it was open. By the time Bobby gets to high school (this is suburban Ohio by the way) his mother has also died. As a freshman he makes friends with Johnathan Glover, a socially awkward youth; Bobby, now a stoner himself, seems to want to recreate the relationship he had with his brother, only with himself in the mentor role.

Bobby and Johnathan get to be really close, even jacking each other off. When Bobby's father also dies he moves in with Johnathan's family (parents played by Matt Frewer and Sissy Spacek). The two continue to experiment for a time, then Jonathan gets uncomfortable and breaks it off. After graduation Johnathan goes off to school in New York, Bobby stays on living with Johnathan's parents and working at a bakery. When Bobby is 24 Johnathan's folks move to Arizona for the fathers health, unsure what to do Bobby reaches out to Johnathan who invites him to move in with him in New York. It is now 1982 and Johnathan is played by Dallas Robert's and Bobby by Colin Farrell.

Johnathan is now the seemingly more grounded one, with a job in advertising and living in an artsy (townhome?) with Claire (Robin Wright) an older, free spirited divorcee. Claire and Johnathan are not romantic, Johnathan is dating men, but they are trying to have a baby together. In short order Johnathan loses his virginity to Claire, he is apparently bisexual, and this disrupts dynamics within the home. The rest of the movie further explores ideas of unconventional found family and it is all very Micheal Cunningham.

For the amount of story here the pacing feels unexpectedly natural. Cunningham's work, even as it depicts subcultures with which I am generally unfamiliar, feels real enough. While the story is fairly radical, it never flies off into cloud cukooland, the performances remain understated, especially Farrell, then known mostly as an action lead. An off the beaten path offering that I thought mostly works, though the critical reaction was mixed and the movie lost money. ***

Lady in Cement (1968)

'Lady in Cement' is the middle chapter in Frank Sinatra's "Detective Trilogy" of the late 1960's, proceeded by 'Tony Rome' and followed by 'The Detective'. Miami based PI Tony Rome discovers the body of a beautiful blond woman, her feet encased in cement, while scuba diving; this provids him entry into a rambling plot featuring organized crime, cross dressing, lost Spanish galleons, the beautiful Raquel Welch and the husky Dan Blocker. Sinatra has some good lines and it's neat to see 1960's Miami, but there is little to care about in this mediocrity. Surprisingly it's Blocker who gives us the most interesting performance in the movie, everyone else feels real pat, but he surprises. Easily the weakest film of the three, a critical and box office disappointment. **