What if I Defect?: Directors Cut (2020)

I had heard that Shelise Ann Sola, the rather attractive host of the 'Cults to Consciousness' YouTube series and podcast was an actress. Curious to see her in something, the only movie of hers I could find was the directors cut of 'What if I Defect?', as a two dollar rental on Amazon, so I thought I'd give it a watch.

A low budget indie film featuring many of the minuses of low budget independent film making. There is some bad sound mixing, especially early on. A very limited number of locations, principly in some ones house and apperent gurilla film making at a mall, hotel, book store, restaurants. The camera quality varies, cheap visual effects are used, the acting quality genrally poor to blah. Shelise is good in this, nobody else is.

This is kind of a Christian movie, though it's pretty sensual for one of those. Filmed in the Anchorage area 'What if I Defect?' is a vanity project for director/writer/star Robby Monroe. Robby plays Daniel, a Christian man whose fiancé has just broke up with him. Daniel is apparently in college, though he looks around 30. He plays video games, Magic, has nerd culture conversations with his friend. He sells shirts at the mall but indicates he has other sources of income. He whines alot, is annoying, kind of self righteous, not much to look at, but Shelise falls for him.

They meet at the mall, she's sad, he's nice to her, tries to cheer her up, listens, they start hanging out. In time we learn that Shelise's character, whose name is Olivia, has been subject to the sexual advances of men since the age of 14, she's been in bad and abusive relationships. Olivia and Daniel are not evenly yoked looks wise, I guess we are suppose to buy her falling for him because he's nice to her, though he's not always nice to her. Again, vanity project, I can buy this story as Robby Monroe's fantasy, but as a movie its clunky. The Iong car drive/ conversation scene near the end of the movie was probably my favorite part, though that felt more like a memory or dream then a fully functional movie scene. 

This was an odd one, also a way too long one, alot of cutting would have really helped, especially in the first half of the film. This 141 minute cut, should have been closer to 110. I kind of admire its strange audacity, but this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I do not hold Shelise responsible however. Still *

Interestingly, I could not find a single other review of this online.